And we can fly away to outer space;

please read!

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 06:31:37 GMT

so i've decided to make a new livejournal, mainly because i've been using this one since grade seven or something and it contains horrendous memories of when i used to have undone eyebrows and unstraightened hair. i've opened up a new chapter in my life and i'm basically done with names like superefille and shit. plus, reading this thing over makes me sorta yack. don't get me wrong, this livejournal does contain some of my dearest memories... but i need to start fresh.

the past is now going to stay in the past.

~ http://melodyleah.livejournal.com

come closer

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 06:36:37 GMT

And I just can't pull myself away, under a spell I can't break, I just can't stop.

I just spent quite the amount of time trying to get my livejournal layout JUST right. I don't know why I'm still up when I fully told Kharen to wake me up at 11:30 but whatever. It's been quite the dramatic night (as it always is) and it's all because of one little thing that totally triggered me into making the arguement bigger. I guess that's just how I am? Tommorrow Jersey's gonna come over and we're gonna chill and stuff, and then in the nightime me & Kharen are going to Wonderland it up with the Mississauga doggys.

So about this Super Sweet 16... it's basically a Sweet 16 party and a debut mixed into one. I think I'm going to call it "The Extravaganza" because earlier I was looking up what extravaganza is defined as in the dictionary and I liked it a lot so yeah. The main colour scheme is most definately going to be green, and I'm going to have a cotillion and the roses and candles shit. Exciting?

P&L ♥

people love you as you are, you're a million miles away from me

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 06:27:10 GMT

i hate being selfish about it but i really want you to come home. i'm always thinking about what could have been if i knew, and what i could have done before you left. there was so much potential, so much common interests. so much interest in general. now it's hard to say anything to you except for good luck & hope you're doing good because despite me missing you and wanting you here, i'd much rather see you making the right decisions, wherever in the world you are. who knows, you could have sent the same message you sent to me that night to a million other girls. but it really meant alot to me. i stayed home and cried the whole day after i read it. i still think about it. i still re-read it. it's just something that basically fills up the empty feeling. i still wonder if you think about me, or think about what it would of been like it.

bleh, maybe you have a girlfriend in the philippines already. i was talking to kev about you the other night at like 3-4 in the morning and we spoke about how there must be a million girls all over you. any girl there would be so lucky to have you. i still wish i got that chance. but for now, i'll watch the hills season premiere by myself on august 18th, wishing you were sitting beside me on the couch giggling with me about it.

hope you were sitting at home watching that episode of your song thinking about me too.

just give it a try, though i'm like chasing rainbows in the sky
i wanna hold you in my dreams, and make believe that it's true
though i know, i know that it's impossible to do
cause you're a star, people love you as you are
you're a million miles away from me..

i'm hoping for a rainbow.. with a boy at the end of it.

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 07:27:04 GMT

i will never deny that i loved you, however i will admit for you that you never loved me. i won't cry over it anymore. i won't storm off. i won't block you. i won't delete you. i will simply accept that my love for you touched the sky and your love for me barely made it off the ground. and all hurt aside; i meant every good thing i ever said to you. the bad stuff came out of anger. right now i am sad, but sad is an in between feeling. it's temporary. after sadness there is either great joy or.. more sadness.. and anger. i'm hoping for a rainbow.. with a boy at the end of it.
- Chris Crocker

honestly, it's an amazing passage. i just read it off his blog on www.mschriscrocker.com. it was written on my birthday. it says everything that i've sorta been trying to say, and at the same time it's given me encouragement, almost, to get over it the whole dramatic situation that i've been fighting for over a month now. it feels like chris crocker wrote this for me, and for the rest of the girls in the world who have fallen for someone or something that wasn't willing to catch them.

here's to you chris crocker, thanks for saving me from myself.

loooooving you is more than a dream come true

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:11:17 GMT

so i'm sitting at home on a saturday afternoon watching disturbia and chilling.

i def wanna marry shia again! why is he so clever? but um i'm back on that. so anyway last night sometime after 2 in the morning i got a call from kevin ramos, and i'm literally all like what the fuck? and so we just chatted about life and chris baltazar until about 4. i realized how much i miss chris and like, died. we also decided that we're gonna buy a house in mississauga with a purple garage and window shutters with two doors and yeah. LOL kev is literally my brother/best friend on the real! no love strings ever again. the things he tells me about him et kim are adorable, and i hope they get married! and i hope that...the wedding that me and kev planned works out? so that he can be the best man and kim can be the maid of honour. :) the things people talk about at 4 in teh morning eh?

DISTURBIA IS SO DISTURBING!

but yea, tonight i'm basically gonna go to leen's and just chill there. me and jersey made a full on plan of me sneaking out to his house and whatever LOL but i think i'm too scared to do it :$ i might not even end up going to leen's, i was thinking about just chilling at the famjam POSSIBLY if josh goes.

anyways now i'm just rambling when really all i want to do it watch disturbia.
k bye.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELODY

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 04:17:05 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME......BOTTOMS UP! AGAINNNNNNNNNN

BOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOMS UP

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 04:30:55 GMT

it's my birthday tommorrow
i'm currently hating my life (again)
drinking the problems away

yes for having millions of bottles of vex in my fridge
tommorrow's my birthday
and that's how i'll do
on my birthday
get wasted with rye and char
while playing rockband

oh i'm into you, and no one else would do
cause with every kiss and ever y hug
you make me fall in love
and i, no i can't be the only one
i bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
who feel what i feel when i'm with you
and i will never try to deny
that you're my whole life
cause if you ever let me go
i would die, so i won't front
i don't need another woman
i just need your all or nothing
cause if i got that, then i'll be straight
baby you're the best part of my day

liar.

i hope you hang yourself with your h&m scarf

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:35:39 GMT

why can't you see how much i love you?

birthday plans SO FAR
- some sort of 6 dollar pizza hut buffet lunch with leen?
- meeting up with some people so they can give me money $
- go karting haha, because it's my special day and i want to
- daddy and mommy's yummy cooking for dinner
- rockband and drive-in's with char and rye for the rest of the night

i felt kinda nice today because rye actually called me and made plans
with me for my birthday, so like yeah

missisauga from the morning to the evening
and night time with the family in brampton
sounds like a good enough birthday :)

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 23:44:54 GMT

everyone wants to date artemio!
yuck. haha girls get off him. i find it so weird.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i'm just so mad tonight. like honestly.
everyone just die.

i hate how i like, got kicked outta my mississauga possy.
well not even kicked out, got like replaced?
i hate how i don't even have a stable group of friends
that i can do stuff with anymore?
i hate the place i live in, i'd rather live in my small shitty house
that's 2.5 minutes away from square one
and in what we call the ghetto

I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK
I WANT MY BOYFRIEND BACK
I WANT MY LIFESTYLE BACK

why can't everything be the way they should be?
cause no matter how many times we talk it out
or fight about it
or send text messages to eachother at 3am
i'm not your best friend anymore
as much as you'd like to lie to me and say i am

lets go to the park, i wanna kiss you underneath the stars

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 15:00:26 GMT

i'm gonna pull myself away
and then maybe he'll want me back

free, free so come back to me

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 06:32:49 GMT

i
~~don't~~
need
want
gotta have
you
back.

i know i was supposed to refrain from the livejournal posts,
but i'm not bashing you on this one.
i just miss you.

i can still remember you tellin me that i was the only one
~~and nobody had ever touched you~~
since the last time i called
you and me were pretty cool, ~~so i moved on~~
and you made me, trust you, again
~~no i take that back, cause i never really trusted you~~
i just did what i had to do, cause i loved you (and)
remember whispers in my ear, tellin' me to have no fear
~~cause nobody else lives here~~
but it was all a lie (lie) you know the time (time)
(june)

ever since you told me, i won't tell you how it's been
don't talk to nobody, not even my friends
i can't sleep, and i don't even clean
~~i ain't had a good meal,~~ this is how you make me feel, when your not here
it's like you locked me up and threw away the key
and everywhere i turn it's like four walls are surrounding me
and movin' in slowly, i'm so lonely
feels like i'm in some kind of prison
and i wanna be free (free) so come back to me

now i know this might sound hard to believe
cause i'm famous all up on MTV
but you don't even know the half, no i don't barely laugh
all the girls surround me, but i don't even know the last time i got some ***
and it ain't cause i can't get it, it's just cause i don't want it
~~everytime i think about sex~~
all i think about is you moanin' and some man
forget my name, ~~tatted between your legs?~~
image burned in my head
and it's killin' me baby, it's drivin' me crazy

ever since you told me, i won't tell you how it's been
don't talk to nobody, not even my friends
i can't sleep, and i don't even clean
~~i ain't had a good meal,~~ this is how you make me feel, when your not here
it's like you locked me up and threw away the key
and everywhere i turn it's like four walls are surrounding me
and movin' in slowly, i'm so lonely
feels like i'm in some kind of prison
and i wanna be free (free) so come back to me

you got me drinkin, ohh
~~you got me smokin, ohh~~
you got me chokin, ohh
do you hear me cryin'?
baby do you hear me dien'?
oh you got me drinkin' (drinkin', drinkin', drinkin')
~~you got me smokin' (smokin', smokin', smokin')~~
you got me chokin' (chokin', chokin', chokin')
do you see me cryin'?
baby do you see me dyin'?
and i wanna be free (free) so come back to me

ever since you told me, i won't tell you how it's been
don't talk to nobody, not even my friends
i can't sleep, and i don't even clean
~~i ain't had a good meal,~~ this is how you make me feel, when your not here
it's like you locked me up and threw away the key
and everywhere i turn it's like four walls are surrounding me
and movin' in slowly, i'm so lonely
feels like i'm in some kind of prison
and i wanna be free (free) so come back to me

drinkin', drinkin', drinkin'
~~smokin', smokin', smokin'~~
chokin', chokin', chokin'
do you hear me cryin'?
baby do u hear me dien'?
oh i'm locked up, they won't let me out
got me locked up, you won't let me out

ever since you told me, i won't tell you how it's been
don't talk to nobody, not even my friends
i can't sleep, and i don't even clean
~~i ain't had a good meal,~~ this is how you make me feel, when your not here
it's like you locked me up and threw away the key
and everywhere i turn it's like four walls are surrounding me
and movin' in slowly, i'm so lonely
feels like i'm in some kind of prison
and i wanna be free (free) so come back to me

listen to my voice it's my disguise, i'm by your side

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 03:15:13 GMT

oh it's what you do to me
hannah 3d was almost awesome
i sung my favorite songs
but i didn't have the 3d glasses so :(

me and my mom killed a gigantic moth
and talked about my exboyfriends
while my dad is out getting drank with his friends!

i want to watch definately, maybe.
and i also want to go church.
haven't been to church in like, a month and a half?
ughhhhhhhhhhh.

my msn is lagging.
fail.

it's only cause i'm still in love

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 19:57:57 GMT

sorry so like i didn't get the chance to talk about the jam this morning
because it was like three or four in the morning and yeah...

basically: there were alotta people, but alotta people missing aswell
i have so much alcohol that me and my dad purchased in my fridge
since like no one drank it but like....leen haha...
but we'll save that for my real birthday
there are so many pictures that i hate looking at because they make it seem like
everythings normal and everything's how it should be

i was pissed as shit and it was harder than i thought it would be but
s'all good s'all good....me and leen rated it a 5/10
but i hope everyone had fun
because that's whats important

this is where missisauga and brampton collide
all thanks to me (:

like it was normal...

yes, there was a little bit a that :)

you're happy i'm happy

tha afterparty

the before party?

the joes boys!

the brampton girls :)

:)

where brampton and missisauga collide

party hardy

the campion boys :)

how fun

how fun :)

etc.!

it's FINALLY over!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 07:10:38 GMT

things ive established:
- i will never throw another house party ever again
- my parents love me more than i thought
- i love EVERYONE who came tonight!!!!!
- leen is my bestest friend in the entire world
- artemio is the cutest thing ever
- i hate baking cupcakes/i hate cupcakes in general
- my exboyfriend...is still my best friend♥
- i love melanie lomboy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- brampton vs. mississauga = brampton won tonight
- leen was like drank tonight haha
- everyone who came tonight, lets meet for lunch next week?

life is just, ridiculous

holy shit it's tommorrow

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:52:14 GMT

to do list before friday:
~~1. eat celina's funnelcake~~
~~2. go grocery shopping with her later on tonight~~
3. make those damned cupcakes
4. do my nails red OR throw on some fake nails
5. buy a new slut crown
6. buy some mardi gras beads for myself
7. finish the fucken mix for once and for all
8. burn the fucken mix onto 3 cds
~~9. choose straight or curly~~
10. clean my basement
~~11. throw the couch into the basement~~
12. blow up some damned balloons
13. decide what i'm gonna fucking wear
14. eyebrows need some plucking
15. decide whether i'm gonna do fake lashes or not
~~16. lay out the chairs in the basement/backyard~~
17. scavenge the table into my backyard
18. make some signs to put on my front door
19. make the "happy birthday melody" sign
~~20.~~ kill myself

the day after tommorrow

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 05:00:00 GMT

so it's about 1am
the POML is the day after tommorrow
still comtemplating straight or curly?
artemio and celina are my b's

shit, i still have alot to do.
yet i'm just running around, slacking off
like going to celina's house to eat funnelcake
and asking everyone what colour they're wearing
sucks because probably half the people are gonna show in white
when i fully said it's a fucken colours kinda thing
the only two people allowed are like me and kg
cause we're mothafucken g's, nawmean

but anyways,
to do list before friday:
1. eat celina's funnelcake
2. go grocery shopping with her later on tonight
3. make those damned cupcakes
4. do my nails red OR throw on some fake nails
5. buy a new slut crown
6. buy some mardi gras beads for myself
7. finish the fucken mix for once and for all
8. burn the fucken mix onto 3 cds
9. choose straight or curly
10. clean my basement
11. throw the couch into the basement
12. blow up some damned balloons
13. decide what i'm gonna fucking wear
14. eyebrows need some plucking
15. decide whether i'm gonna do fake lashes or not
16. lay out the chairs in the basement/backyard
17. scavenge the table into my backyard
18. make some signs to put on my front door
19. make the "happy birthday melody" sign
20. kill myself

i want...

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:59:20 GMT

i want a boy
who would shove ice cream in my face
who will wrestle with me
who shows me off to his friends
who treats me with respect
who will call me at four in the morning
to tell me he can't stop thinking about me
who sings to me, even if he can't
who could break my heart
but wouldn't dream of it.

ha, impossible.

the seven things i hate about you

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:59:43 GMT

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared
It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now ~~we're~~ i'm standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear
My dear

The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
Oh you
You're vain, your games
~~You're insecure~~
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh
You make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them
Just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward ~~and its silent~~
As I wait for you to say
~~What I need to hear now~~
Your sincere apology
When you mean it I'll believe it
If you text it I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not coming back
You're taking seven steps here

The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
Oh you
You're vain, your games
~~You're insecure~~
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh
You make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them
Just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention the seven that I like

The seven things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes
Your old Levis
When we kiss I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined
Everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you

You do, oh
Ooh, ooh, ooh oh
Ooh, ooh, ooh oh

LOLOOLOOOLOOOLOL

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 17:38:22 GMT

i know your reading this haha
so
get the fuck off my lifejournal bitch!

:)

IN OTHER WORDS
i love my family
jandrANDMcrew for days

"i don't wanna be in a relationship"

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 20:33:49 GMT

LOLOLOLOL HONESTLY
i can't even be mad anymore
i'll just laugh and shake my head
because you're so stupid
haha

gosh darn, brian lopez
you honestly amaze me

update at 5:09pm
lol. it's done. i'm tired of fighting.

what if?

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 05:24:27 GMT

how can you be sure that things are better
if you can't be sure your heart is still here with me, still wanting me

so i'm sitting here at 1:11 in the morning, wearing the gold bling bling chain that my dad bought himself at dollarama for my party. my contacts are still on to try and keep the memory of old flames. maybe gonna watch a little tfc later. it's kobe's baptism tommorrow morning and like, ugh. haha i don't wanna get up and drive to scarborough for that. luckily we're going to swiss chalet right after. sweet deal?

but uh. forget you. you hate me now. gotta move on. how about you? no, you already left me. gotta move on. what about you? maybe. we'll see.

i love having realtalks with banate after like 1am.
that kid keeps me sane.

& LBanate. -on. says (1:22 AM):
All the girls are the same-listen to R&B Hip-Hop dress the same etc etc. But, she listens to rock, don't dress like the rest, and she doesn't go up to people and ask for hugs xD. I dunno, when I spend time with her, I feel so happy xD

haha. girls, i think we honestly need to find guys like this. guys who appreciate us for us.

~

it's that inbox that keeps me going.
i read it everyday, three or four times a day.
he helps me believe that there's still hope.

uyigjkgkdcrtdutdtseurvbkhvuygiyfidea5sey

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:05:42 GMT

i
hate
my
life

dear you:
i am so sorry. i think i've become like, what i've never wanted to be. i'm your new lindsay, and i hate that. i'm usually not the bitch ex-girlfriend who's on your dick for days, but i honestly don't know what's wrong with me. i don't know why i care so much still. you changed my life alot, and to this day, everything in my world still reminds me of you. i still wake up & go to bed heartbroken. nothing's changed. from what i've heard it's like you're convinced i'm over you. it's harder than that. you ask me "are you going to paulo's" like i'm back on that, when i'm not. you texted me earlier saying that you don't want to talk to me anymore or whatever. is it better? is it worse? the one thing that i still think you don't understand is, how hard it is to be your friend. like you say "i wanna be friends with you still". it's so much harder than you think. the person who i love, left me. again. and now i'm just like emotionally unstable? like i don't know how to handle things, and i still don't know what to do. i want to get over you, trust me, i do. i want you to be happy, i want you to do whatever you want and see whoever you want and just, be free. i guess it's been hard for you since i keep fighting with you about anything and everything..but i realized today that like, i'm done fighting. because i can't win. i can't get you back no matter what i do and it sucks. like, we're starting to fight over nothing now, and it's becoming ridiculous. the way i'm acting isn't me, and you're totally seeing something that i'm not. really when i say i'm sorry i do mean it. as much as you don't want to believe it. i don't wanna be lindsay pt.2. you're my best friend, you always have beeen and i do need you there. it's just a matter of letting go...

i love you & that's why it hurts

and i hate that i love you so

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:20:18 GMT

christopher baltazar, you are one amazing guy
i hate seeeing you gone, its tearing up my heart still
i miss you like crazy and....ugh,
see you on my tv screeeeen.

so like tommorrow's ribfest
and i'm mosdef gonna reach with leeen phia and nikki
how fun
girls day @ ribfest
woooooooooooooooooo
and
asdjwoeirjwoiaoijda

i hate:
exboyfriends
party planning
random people who call my cellphone
people who do my eyebrows bad
hot days/nights
not having any money in my bank account
the philippines
poeple who leave me
etc.

my love life sucks on the real

sighhhhhhh times a million

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:29:39 GMT

it's like the only other person i saw myself with is leaving
and
it just sucks.

i am stressed

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:11:15 GMT

i'm stressed